Its today or Never

It’s today or never She sat quietly. Not sure of what to say. She had so many thoughts in her mind that only God could understand. She was in this Mark X with a guy she met 5 months ago. Chris. She knew he loved her with all his being but then again time has taught her that love is not everything. Whether this was true or not, she promised herself she will take her sweet time and trust the universe that what was meant to be will be. “Don’t force love,” the words rang in her mind. “Sue, you haven’t answered me.” Silence. “Babe, what’s wrong?” She knew nothing was wrong but one thing she was sure about was if she was going to be honest with this man, one of two things would happen. Either their friendship was going to end (or whatever this was) or this man would think of her as a heartless woman. The latter was true, if her current relationship was anything to go by. But she didn’t want this new man to realize how cold her heart had become lest she loose such a wonderful soul. He asked again if she really loved him or she had just friend zoned him. “Sue you know how much I love you and if I am to be honest with you, I have become so attached to you that I can no longer accept you are busy entertaining me while you always say you have a boyfriend. Sometimes I doubt whether it’s true you are engaged to David. How come whenever you want any help it’s me you always come to? If you guys really love each other why did you allow me to be the first man to make love to you? Your wedding is a month away and you haven’t answered my question. Sue, do you really think David is the man you would like to spend the rest of your life with?” Tears blinded her eyes. She bit her lower lip in order to refrain herself from talking as this would allow the tears to flow freely. This was normal whenever she was faced with a tough decision. She felt overwhelmed and immediately asked Chris to stop at the Petrol station next to her house. He agreed. She alighted and headed straight to the washrooms. Chris was busy talking to the attendants. She opened the door and sat at the toilet seat. She realized she had been crying and realized it made her feel better nothing like what David would always say that crying makes one weak. She wiped the tears off and looked herself in the mirror. She saw what a beauty she had become and how her skin had become soft. This amazed her. Made her feel exceedingly good. Perhaps it’s the new lotion Chris bought her last weekend, she thought. She took out her phone to check what time it was;( Two messages). She dreaded opening them fearing she might have been seen by one of David’s friend when Chris came to pick her from work. She wasn’t in any mood of arguing. She looked at the mirror again and reminded herself that there’s nothing she cannot handle. She pressed the open button and the texts opened. Chris: babe, are you fine? You have taken too long. David: I arrived home safely. Talk to you tomorrow. Mum says hi. She decided she would not reply David’s text. She texted Chris and told him that she was fine and on her way home and she would see him on Monday. On her bed she thought of everything that has been happening in her life and the big event that’s going to happen in a month’s time. She thought of Chris’ question. For a moment she was convinced she was not sure whether she really wanted the wedding. She looked at the engagement ring and the bracelet she wore on the same hand, that Chris gave her on her 24th birthday, and knew for sure she was in a fix. Perhaps it’s what they meant when they said ‘when it rains, it pours.’ She promised herself she is not going to think about these 2 men until on Monday when David was around. “I’ll see you after work. Eagle’s eye restaurant. At 5, don’t forget,” David said. “Okay babe, see you then,” she hung up the phone. She had just had a confrontation with her colleague because she said her perfume had a strong scent and it made her develop a headache. The colleague had told her to stop being moody like a pregnant woman. Moody. Yes, that’s who she has become of late. She thought of the woman who stepped on her in church yesterday and how she shouted at her despite the woman saying how sorry she was. What could be her problem? She wondered. Her periods had missed and it’s been a week now. “Is being moody a sign of pregnancy?” she goggled. That and many other characteristics were signs of pregnancy. Her heart missed a beat. Also, it could be a sign of depression. She decided to pass by the chemist and do what was to be done on her way to meet David. Two hours later, she was sitted in the restaurant. She decided this time she was going to ask David if he really wanted the wedding. She had two choices: either to lie forever or say the truth once and for all. “It’s today or never,” she told herself. She ordered two pizzas and as the waiter approached she saw David smiling at her. Her level of adrenaline rose and as she hugged David, she felt a sharp pain in her heart. David sat and laughed at her greediness. She smiled back and with tears in her eyes, she knew she did not want it to end this way. “David, you have to know, I am eating for two”. Authors: Jeremy Godsann & Adel Nyange © Copyright 2015