Its today or Never

It’s today or never She sat quietly. Not sure of what to say. She had so many thoughts in her mind that only God could understand. She was in this Mark X with a guy she met 5 months ago. Chris. She knew he loved her with all his being but then again time has taught her that love is not everything. Whether this was true or not, she promised herself she will take her sweet time and trust the universe that what was meant to be will be. “Don’t force love,” the words rang in her mind. “Sue, you haven’t answered me.” Silence. “Babe, what’s wrong?” She knew nothing was wrong but one thing she was sure about was if she was going to be honest with this man, one of two things would happen. Either their friendship was going to end (or whatever this was) or this man would think of her as a heartless woman. The latter was true, if her current relationship was anything to go by. But she didn’t want this new man to realize how cold her heart had become lest she loose such a wonderful soul. He asked again if she really loved him or she had just friend zoned him. “Sue you know how much I love you and if I am to be honest with you, I have become so attached to you that I can no longer accept you are busy entertaining me while you always say you have a boyfriend. Sometimes I doubt whether it’s true you are engaged to David. How come whenever you want any help it’s me you always come to? If you guys really love each other why did you allow me to be the first man to make love to you? Your wedding is a month away and you haven’t answered my question. Sue, do you really think David is the man you would like to spend the rest of your life with?” Tears blinded her eyes. She bit her lower lip in order to refrain herself from talking as this would allow the tears to flow freely. This was normal whenever she was faced with a tough decision. She felt overwhelmed and immediately asked Chris to stop at the Petrol station next to her house. He agreed. She alighted and headed straight to the washrooms. Chris was busy talking to the attendants. She opened the door and sat at the toilet seat. She realized she had been crying and realized it made her feel better nothing like what David would always say that crying makes one weak. She wiped the tears off and looked herself in the mirror. She saw what a beauty she had become and how her skin had become soft. This amazed her. Made her feel exceedingly good. Perhaps it’s the new lotion Chris bought her last weekend, she thought. She took out her phone to check what time it was;( Two messages). She dreaded opening them fearing she might have been seen by one of David’s friend when Chris came to pick her from work. She wasn’t in any mood of arguing. She looked at the mirror again and reminded herself that there’s nothing she cannot handle. She pressed the open button and the texts opened. Chris: babe, are you fine? You have taken too long. David: I arrived home safely. Talk to you tomorrow. Mum says hi. She decided she would not reply David’s text. She texted Chris and told him that she was fine and on her way home and she would see him on Monday. On her bed she thought of everything that has been happening in her life and the big event that’s going to happen in a month’s time. She thought of Chris’ question. For a moment she was convinced she was not sure whether she really wanted the wedding. She looked at the engagement ring and the bracelet she wore on the same hand, that Chris gave her on her 24th birthday, and knew for sure she was in a fix. Perhaps it’s what they meant when they said ‘when it rains, it pours.’ She promised herself she is not going to think about these 2 men until on Monday when David was around. “I’ll see you after work. Eagle’s eye restaurant. At 5, don’t forget,” David said. “Okay babe, see you then,” she hung up the phone. She had just had a confrontation with her colleague because she said her perfume had a strong scent and it made her develop a headache. The colleague had told her to stop being moody like a pregnant woman. Moody. Yes, that’s who she has become of late. She thought of the woman who stepped on her in church yesterday and how she shouted at her despite the woman saying how sorry she was. What could be her problem? She wondered. Her periods had missed and it’s been a week now. “Is being moody a sign of pregnancy?” she goggled. That and many other characteristics were signs of pregnancy. Her heart missed a beat. Also, it could be a sign of depression. She decided to pass by the chemist and do what was to be done on her way to meet David. Two hours later, she was sitted in the restaurant. She decided this time she was going to ask David if he really wanted the wedding. She had two choices: either to lie forever or say the truth once and for all. “It’s today or never,” she told herself. She ordered two pizzas and as the waiter approached she saw David smiling at her. Her level of adrenaline rose and as she hugged David, she felt a sharp pain in her heart. David sat and laughed at her greediness. She smiled back and with tears in her eyes, she knew she did not want it to end this way. “David, you have to know, I am eating for two”. Authors: Jeremy Godsann & Adel Nyange © Copyright 2015

Undying Love

This special feeling lights my soul on fire,

It burns with an incredible delight, affectionate desire,

How lucky I am to have this in my life,

A most esteemed feeling amazingly nice.

Let me name this feeling, it’s all about you,

It’s my unending, undying love for you,

I knew it was special from the very start,

It envelopes my body, my core, my heart,

A shining, uplifting, persistent feeling,

It embraces and warms my entire being.

In this world full of hurt and pain,

Love’s a curious thing, it often comes disguised,

Look at love the wrong way, it goes unrecognized, 

Into all lives falls pain and sorrows,

I promise together, we will meet all tomorrows.

These words I have written, speak of my love for you,

From my lips these words spoken, shall always ring true,

When you are lost, and can’t see the light,

My love will be a beacon, shining ever so bright.

Author: Jeremy Godsann

Date: 31 March, 2015

Valentines Day

Valentine's Day is the Holiday of Romance. Romance is love in its active state, ignited and inspired. Valentine's Day may feel like a holiday forced on us by the Greeting Card, Jewelry and Floral industries, but the truth is that we have accepted it because we recognize and value its purpose. Love that never inspires romance is stagnant and stale. Valentine's Day is an opportunity to ignite our existing relationship with romance, and love with an added dose of romance will result in a stronger, longer lasting and far more satisfying relationship. 

I've never imagined that there can be this day.

 A day that love will find its way. 

Out of my heart and into your soul.

 These feelings I have are beyond my control.

 All my life I have waited patiently.

 For a goddess like you, so beautiful, so lovely.

 Words can't express the way I feel.

 These feelings towards you are all for real. 

You are the reason why I go on.

 Eternity can't separate this special bond. 

This heart of mine is reserved for you. 

Forever it is yours, this love is true. I'll be your first and you'll be my last.

 My world, my everything, till my time has past.

 I will always love you until the end of time.

 On this special day I want you to know, 

I love you, More than I could write down, tell, explain or even try to show. 

So on this Valentines Day I want to say, I love you and will always be with you. 

Author: Jeremy Godsann 

Date: 10th Feb, 2015

Music My Life

I have written this poem because I have a deep passion for music and I've been doing it for a long time. music is not just a hobby for me its my life. The rhythm, and of course the beat. Moving side to side and dancing the floor. Feel the music flowing all through your feet. The beats so good, it makes you want some more. Get lost in the music, carried away. Feel the deep passion coming from your heart. Warm like the sun on the beach on mid day. It's been a part of my life from the start. Made from things happening in real life. If you listen closely there is a song. Some are love and some are blunt as a knife. I can listen to music all day long. Music's love or whatever it can be. Music's the life that is inside of me. Music travels all around my body Now I can say it's living right through me Listening to music puts me in a good mood It makes me want to stand up and start to groove Music can make me forget all of my pain It brings out the sun when I can only see the rain I put on my headphones and play all of my songs I could listen to it all day long Music can teach you many lessons Like stand up for your rights and all the good reasons I know there's people who thinks the same way Because they know music lives in us everyday Where words fail music speaks. How can I keep my soul in me, so that it doesn't touch your soul? How can I raise it high enough, past you, to other things? I would like to shelter it, among remote lost objects, in some dark and silent place that doesn't resonate when your depths resound. Yet everything that touches us, me and you, takes us together like a violin's bow, which draws one voice out of two separate strings. Upon what instrument are we two spanned? And what musician holds us in his hand? Oh sweetest song. yes Music is my life. 

 Author: Jeremy Godsann Date: 16/12/2014

Endless Abyss

Watching you smile, my heart drops
Hitting the bottom, decaying its prop
Gazing into your eyes, the endless abyss
All flaws invisible, intentionally missed.

Fludders from my heart lift it back up
Locked into place, stuck in a rut
A nervous wreck, not really sure why
Wanting your smile, I continue to try.

Feelings I thought lost, found once more
Your love surrounds me, stupendous galore
Without my presence, but never alone
Needing your voice, but not through a phone.

I have a picture of you, scorched in my mine
Lost in the wilderness, only for you to find
A compass with no absolute direction
I look in the mirror to see your reflection.

Winds blow with the whisper of your name
Nothing in life will ever be the same
Chiseled from the core, out to the skin
Everything I want to say seems too thin.

Adequately, I explain my feelings
On and throughout, I continue kneeling
I look in your eyes for the last time
Everything about you, I want to call mine.

I want you to love me, give me a test
Tell me what you want and I'll do my best
I want your trust, without a doubt
I've thought of you more times than I can count....its an Endless Abyss.

writer and Author: Jeremy Godsann

Facebook: Jeremy Godsann Musiq

Twitter : @JGodsann

Best Yet to be

On your joyful wedding day,
You begin a brand new life.
Friends and family give their gifts
To joyful husband, blissful wife.
But the greatest gift you'll ever get,
A gift from heaven above,
Is love forever, ending never,
Everlasting love.

You'll share life's joy and pleasure;
You'll have plenty of that, it's true.
But love is the real treasure
For your new spouse and you.
And if life hands you challenges,
As it does to one and all,
Your love will hold you steady
And never let you fall.

 

Your wedding day is full of joy;
Tomorrow you cannot see.
But one thing's sure for the two of you:
The best is yet to be.

Her Beauty

Her beauty is that of a million diamonds glittering in the sun,

Each reflecting its own ray of light making brilliant patterns,

The angels gasp in the wake of her presence,

She in herself being a masterpiece of God’s work,

As his giant gentle hands molded her he knew exactly who she would be,

She would be the one who could make a man stop and gasp,

Who could content a man just being within his arms,

Making him fill with warmth through just a brush of the lips,

Whose smile could light up the surrounding darkness,

Whose laugh could make anyone believe they had wings,

She would be the one who that young man would fall for,

Who would see her true beauty in the surrounding gloom,

Who would long for mere minutes with her,

Who would always long for just the feel of her hand,

He would know how lucky he was,

He wouldn’t mistake infatuation over love,

He would realize all prayers had been answered,

He would simply pray “I want her to be the one”.